had a short chat session with one of the students after class today. was able to clarify and run through some of the target language learnt today, because she wasn't able to catch it in class. Helped that I could speak chinese.

but seeing the desperation and intense determination in her eyes, as well as her hard work and strong desire... that really reminded me once more why I'm taking this course, why i'm putting myself through this. and it once again woke the intense desire to be able to somehow, in some way, meet that need.

and to think that not just her, but so many many others here, all the wonderful students that I have, all caught and and entrapped in an eternal darkness, never seeing the Light, with no hope. so incredibly heartbreaking.

Oh Lord, break my heart for what breaks Yours. Pour Your love for them through me, that I may in somehow, in some small little way, be a tool for Your purposes. Even in this short and limited time here, send me; use me.

I've been so caught up in the doing, in how to craft a lesson plan, how to teach this well, how to pass the course, and even what opportunities exist after this. But this was such an enormous reminder about WHY WHY WHY i'm even here. about what God has made me tender-hearted towards. yes, I want to be a better teacher, but that's not the aim in itself. These people.. they are the reason I've been sent here.

Oh break my heart for what breaks Yours. again and again. Here I am. Send me.