So, I have been going through the New City Catechism bit by bit (literally, since I've been ruminating on the first 2 questions after 1 whole week!) and today, right after being dropped a bombshell of MC secretary duties, I turned to the prayer section of Q2. And boy, did it strike me to the heart, in the midst of my panic and fear of the unknown obstacles in front of me and the seemingly unsurmountable mountain.

I believe, O sovereign Goodness, O mighty Wisdom, that thou dost sweetly order and govern all things, even the most minute, even the most noxious, to thy glory, and the good of those that love thee. I believe, O Father of the families of heaven and earth, that thou so disposest all events, as may best magnify thy goodness to all thy children, especially those whose eyes wait upon thee. I most humbly beseech thee, teach me to adore all thy ways, though I cannot comprehend them; teach me to be glad that thou art king, and to give thee thanks for all things that befall me; seeing thou hast chosen that for me, and hast thereby ‘set to thy seal that they are good.’  

And for that which is to come, give me thy grace to do in all things what pleaseth thee; and then, with an absolute submission to thy wisdom, to leave the issues of them in thy hand.

From “Forms of Prayer: Thursday Morning” in The Works of the Reverend John Wesley, Volume 6 (New York: J. Emory & B. Waugh, 1831), 392.

And amidst my 'why is this happening to me?!!!", this rang loud and clear. Teach me to give thanks for all things that befall me; because You have chosen them for me, and therefore, You have set Your seal that they are good. So give me the grace to please You in everything that I do, and to submit wholly unto You and Your wisdom. And most of all, be glorified. That none of this would be by my own efforts, to my own glory. but in Your power and strength and grace and mercy, Your name be glorified through me.

And even when the second bombshell came later, this again rang loud and clear. I don't know what to ask for or what to do... go to a dept that i can't manage the boss but is a guaranteed transfer mapped out for me, go to a dept of my own choosing (but it's not guaranteed, and i have no idea what i want anyway) or stay in a dept that is my comfort zone (but not learning the other aspects of planning that are good for me too). So Lord, show me Your will. Show me where You want me to walk. But give me the grace to choose the path that pleases You, and let me submit fully until You and whoever You have placed in authority over me.

And remind me continually that I serve the Big Boss, not anyone else, not mere mortals. In my actions and deeds, words and thoughts, may it be apparent that I serve You, to please You and glorify You alone.