birthday reminiscence

so it's the final 15 minutes or so till i turn 25, and honestly, the last few mths/weeks/days ticking down have been about the most introspective and morose ever before any birthday i've ever had. perhaps because 25 seems to be a far bigger milestone, but which I have nothing much to show for. 


in fact, the last year has passed in a blur, one far too busy with the craziness of work, especially in the last few months, characterised too much by a pressing lack of sleep and an intense amount of stress. The important things have fallen aside, while the lives of others and their living environment becomes paramount almost. 


and the wondering and questioning of what is an adequate amount of maturity that a 25 year old should possess, and feeling time and time again how fall short of that mark i fall. 


but with all the introspectiveness and self-reflection, i have been far too pre-occupied with the introspectiveness and self-reflection. Been thinking about the song "10,000 reasons" (and Psalms 103), and God just reminded me... even through all this reflection of the past year, don't forget the thanksgiving. stop focussing on myself.


And that is so true... so many things to thank God for. For His sustenance, His grace and His power, for bringing me through too many hurdles to count, for good bosses and great colleagues, for the great times and the fun. For the trials that build character and resilience and faith, for prayerful homegroupers who are a great encouragement. 


Too many to count, too many to list. and not just for what He has done or given, but for who He is. For His faithfulness. What grace. What mercy. And that is the joy, as Alan Frow shared, not simply just living out the Christian life, but living it out knowing the incredible grace that has reconciled us to Him and all that comes with that. A joy that springs forth from the permanent and eternal, and that sustains and bubbles on even through the hardest and toughest times. 


Bless the Lord oh my soul
Oh my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
Oh my soul
I worship Your holy name


The sun comes up, it's a new day dawning
It's time to sing Your song again
Whatever may pass and whatever lies before me
Let me be singing when the evening comes


You are rich in love and You're slow to anger
Your name is great and Your heart is kind
For all Your goodness I will keep on singing
10,000 reasons for my heart to find


And on that day when my strength is failing
The end draws near and my time has come
Soon my soul will sing Your praise unending
10,000 years and there forever more

As with every year, the prayer for my heart is - let the 25th be one that glorifies Your name. And may I start the new day singing, and still be singing when the evening comes.