so just got the email for Trek in June, and the familiar hum in the blood starts up, the desire for some adventure kicks in and the itch to jump straight into it starts.


but like i had to keep asking myself last year, what is my real motivation?


i love kids ministry. but am i truly effective in it? i don't know - it's tough for me because i don't have the skills that many others in this ministry do. i'm not great with kids, i'm not funny and witty with kids on the spot, and i don't know how to really handle misbehaving kids. But i love working with them, and i know that it's so very very important to bring God's love to them, and to bring God's word and the knowledge of Him into their lives. 


but because i know my inadequacies, that's why i know that i cannot claim credit for any of those times that God moved. Like last year's Trek. definitely not me, definitely not my strength nor my preparation, but God showing up and doing the work. 


so Trek this year. what are my motivations? why do i want to do it? if it's for the camp itself (which i love and enjoy), then it's wrong. if it's because i love working with kids, then it's wrong. so God, show me my true motives and desires of my heart.


and the fact that it's on the same stuff as last year Dec is making me apprehensive... cos of the teaching material. and the fact that i'll be going solo, with pple i dont know. no more cheryl. going solo? hmm. 


God, put the burden on my heart if it is to be so. if not, then show me too...