it amazes me. i look back on my time in youth music ministry, and indeed God has taught me many things. but there was one lesson that He drove home and that whenever i struggle, even now, i remember that one principle. i like to believe that the entire time that I served in there, was for this one simple lesson that God wanted to teach - it never is about us, only Him.

mini-youth camp 05 - tell the world. somehow or other, josh got me to be in charge of the worship sessions. i wasn't even in the music ministry anymore by then, but hey, who cares? so there i was trying to frantically find worship leaders to lead all the session, and of cos there has to be a shortage, and of cos i end up having to lead one session.

honestly, i'm really amazed at how God orchastrates everything...

but yes, back to the story. so there I was trying to sort things out, and this was all very last minute, and i'm ashamed to say that this was the worst prepared worship session i have ever led before. so there i was, with my history of struggling with my musical inadequacies, coupled with a lack of proper preparation and a practise session that started 15 minutes before the worship session. and of cos, i was panicking. i mean... come on! i'm in front of everyone, i can't sing, and yeah, i'm ill-prepared.

and i thought it was going to flop. like totally flop. and be the worse session ever. but... i discounted God. and i made Him too small in my eyes. and He proved me wrong there and then, and He moved in a big way.

i remember that so strongly, because i was in tears on stage, and the presence of God was so strong. and guess what? that was SUPPOSED to be the worse worship session ever!

but God... He's not constrained by our inabilities, our lack of gifts or talents, or energy. And He showed me that indeed, He's more powerful that any constrain i could ever put on Him. More importantly, He showed me that it never was about me to begin with... it was always Him, and His glory, and His power.

i look back, and I think about that one time, the worst worship session becoming the best I've ever led, not because of me, but because He wanted to teach me an important lesson.

and now, as i'm all nervous about tomorrow, and about the kids, i look back and i know that it never will be about how good i am at doing it all or how lacking the skills... but it's about Him. always.

like a very good friend said, the criteria is God. so why be fearful?
only He can fill it, so let Him.

so with shaky hands and trembling knees, I'll put it all in His hands, because He will definitely look after His sheep.