what i like abt my church now is the word. somehow, God manages to use everything, every week, to speak to me.

but anyway, today the s.p. was trying to emphasize the point about us being the body of Christ. Yupz, we all know that. But i guess, it's all about internalizing that.

i guess 2 cor 5:15 took on a greater meaning. you know, from sunday sch to youth to watever i should be in now... it's been a lot of memorizing of verses and such. but perhaps they take on a much greater meaning as you grow up and increasingly reflect upon them.

"And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again." essentially, isn't that what the new testament is about? Jesus, and how our lives are to be in response to His sacrifice and resurrection.

Anyway, I juz felt that perhaps it would be a good reminder to everyone, just as it was a real good reminder to me, that where our body goes, God goes too.

2 cor 5:20 "We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God."

As ambassadors of God, let's be Christ's representatives. Not merely by defending His word, or giving out tracts or inviting people to church, but also in our words and actions towards them... in how we relate to them, seeing others through Jesus' eyes... as precious humans that we love.

And in the last couple of days, I was just thinking that it really is sad. That time of the year comes around again, where you start saying goodbye to those who are finishing their studies here. And it's sadder, cos this repeats every six months, and the majority of them being ASTAR scholars, I won't really get to see them again ever. And it kinda made me sad that perhaps no one would remember me, say 15 years down the road. Did I make an impact in their lives? And even for my current room mates, now that we are all moving out come the new semester, how much will they remember of me?

But. We are the ambassadors of God. And it occurred to me during service that, yes, I want to make an impact in their lives, but not for my glory any more. Rather, I want it to point to God, that they will look back and remember not how sweet or cute or anything i was, but how i made a difference BECAUSE God was in me.

It's hard to really express the depth of what I feel inside. A kind of epiphany (okay maybe not to that extent) but yea... i get pple saying that i'm nice, and sweet and blah blah blah. but it would be so nice if they could say 'wow, joanne was so sweet and caring. She really represents God. That's how God is, isn't He?" maybe not this exact words of cos, but you know... to that effect.

on another note, it's 11 days till i leave for home! =) 10 and a half to be exact. woohoo! haha. :) but the nearer the date draws close, the more i start thinking abt home. (which in turn makes me miss it even more. food food food. haha) i'm going to be such a greedy pig when i reach home, and coupled with the fact that my appetite has increased to take in enough calories to simply keep myself warm in the cold, i'm going to be so enjoying all the food i can at home bwahaha. but well, looking at it positively, it juz means that i'll accumulate sufficient fat to deal with the extreme cold when i'm back. (it'll be winter full blast when sch starts again next yr)

for now, when i get bored of studying n doing work, i'm juz making lists of all the stuff i wanna do when i get home... food i wanna eat, movies i wanna watch, pple i want to go out with, places i want to visit, stuff i want to get.. haha you get the picture =)

maybe if i'm feeling real bored with studying later, i'll update abt the gospel choir performance i saw yesterday. all i will say for now is 'woooooooooooooow'...

a little prayer request for now, if anyone still reads this =) i've got 3 sick room mates. who have been sick for over a week. and so, 2 nights ago, i finally succumbed as well, and was all achy n feverish. the fever went off after i slept from 7.30pm to 6.45am on fri night, but last night... i felt a little... under the weather. i don't think the fever came back, but yea... 11pm to 7.45am of complete DEEP sleep says something i guess. i'm feeling a little better, but there's a nagging headache that keeps coming back. and well, finals are next wk. there's still work to be done, not to mention the studying. and i really really really need my health for this crucial period (and my health when i go back! else how to enjoy???!) so yes =) would really appreciate all your prayers.

and in 2 weeks i'll be back in church FOR CHRISTMAS! "i'll be home for christmas" juz took on a much more personal meaning =)