it struck me today in the middle of worship, that this is the age. this is the age where I need to be on fire for God, where we need to be so passionate and so hungry for Him. This is when we have the least burdens, the least commitments, the most opportunities to offer ourselves unreservedly to Him, and to seek wholeheartedly to have that intimate relationship.

There are so many more struggles and challenges that will demand our time and attention in the future. If we can't even burn with His fire now, how will we do so in time to come? am i doing enough now? how i yearn to know Him deeper, more intimately, to love Him more, but is it enough?

In 20 years time, how many of us will be left standing? Will we become like them, who only want teaching that soothes the ear, and music that's nice to listen to? Despite the music, despite everything else, the one thing that I saw today that made worship good was the heart of the worship leader.

I thank God for the various experiences over the years in the cells because I think He has definitely taught me what it really means at the end of the day. In youth, having someone push me up to worship lead, not because I cld do it, but because of the heart - that was one big lesson. not to say i didn't struggle so hard with that - with the lack of the ability, because i did, but it was an important lesson learnt.

i mean, now in cell, i get good music/musicians, good worship leaders but most importantly, pple who yearn so much to worship, who do so with utmost sincerity and love for God... and i appreciate that - the melding of all the good things together. but back in madison, where there was no musician (save for me, who can't quite play e guitar), and ppl with no experience ever leading worship before... where all we had was youtube videos, itunes play list or even just singing acapella... even then, worship is still worship, regardless of the accessories we attach to it to jazz it up.

my pt is, at the end of the day, i need to continually remember to fix my eyes on Him, not on earthly things, not on mortal man, but on Him alone. coming back to the heart of worship.

this is a slightly disjointed post, for lack of slp (from e slpover), and for lack of coherent thought. but at least it suffices enough for me to remember when i look back (: