finally got to spend an entire afternoon/evening with the ny babes, and i think it's been really surprising how at home i feel. perhaps the greatest combatant of stress is an extended period of sincere, heartfelt laughter. and company that cheers. spiritual support on sat, and the love from old friends on sun. ah, i'm totally geared up for work this wk :)

i mean, ok i know these gals for 10 years. an entire decade. some, for 13. i shldn't be surprised at all; after all, these are pple i grew up with and ate/play/laughed/cried/shared with every single day. the dynamics never really changed i guess.

it's great, really. cos for the longest time after sec sch, i never thought it'd be like tt anymore. but it still is.

it's really the... same wavelength, for lack of a better description. the same common mental platform that we have. maybe (as we were discussing) I am elitist after all, but since those days, I have not found a group of friends that operate on the same wavelength as i do. (sh doesn't count, cos she's one person, and not a group).

we're like kids ya know? no one looking at us can tell tt we are 23 year olds. i mean, the random bursts of singing and harmonisation, the boisterous nature (and oh-so-undignified mannerisms), the teh-ing and jokes and stuff.

ah.

and of cos, the indepth and thought-provoking discussions that have been so sorely lacking in my life (apart from with mz) in the last 6 years. guess we'll always be true to our roots huh.

but it was a good question that t did raise - knowing full well that we have the capabilities and intelligence that we do, do we then have the responsibility to make sure that we use them to contribute back to society?

simple question on the surface. but if u think harder and go deeper, u realise it's not so simple after all.

can you fault those who just want to lead a simple, contented life in quietness and away from everything else? how about those who simply lack the drive to do so much more? should they be feeling the responsibility?

it upsets me to see pple who have the opportunities and the abilities simply not use them because there is no drive or push. like so many undergrads in a uni-that-shall-not-be-named, where they simply just want to get by and... have fun. their goal is to have fun. and their abilities? their intelligence? should they not feel the responsibility to contribute to society, to contribute to mankind, to make full use of what they have been given?

and yet, can we fault them for being contented with what little they are doing?

honestly, it's easier to be old and shake your head, sighing at these young ones and their unbelievable wastage. it's another thing to know that they are the same generation as me, and worse, some i count as my friends.

for me, it's simpler. my God-given abilities should, and are, for His glory. There always have been the drive and the motivation to push the limits, to push my abilities as far as they can go... to challenge myself for more. yet i know, it is reaching a point right now, where i'm just tired. and all i want to do is hide somewhere, like a recluse.

but ultimately, as a good steward, whatever abilities that I have, whether little or plentiful, need to be used wisely and yes, for His glory. and in that sense, towards the betterment of society.

perhaps it's our environment, our upbringing, our training that causes us to think so critically about what contributions we can make in exchange for the 7 years (ok 4 for some) of special care and development. and of cos, for me, another 3 extra years. in a way, we are so very very indebted. of cos, many in my shoes will disagree. (and then, there's the whole issue of elitism, which is a whole different topic). but for us, these few of us, simply getting by doing the bare minimum just does not cut it.

ah. the challenge for me then, is to take this perspective and put it in the context of the daily grind of work. where i am, what i have... offered for His glory.

and out of this mouth, may praise and joy continually abound.